Cecilia.FP.doc

Final Essay

Susie Huerta

English 104

Cecilia Flores

12/10/09

The End of the Beginning

El Pasado...The Past

“Regardless of our perceived differences in beliefs and values, we have a common future and this should inform how we can proceed, and how we can broaden the roots, mysteries, truths, memories, and stories of the past to guide us.” – Luis J. Rodriguez

This girl didn’t grow up having everything she wanted but she had everything she needed, her family. Although she seemed happy to her family, she was broken on the inside. If you were to ask this girl to recall a happy childhood memory, chances are she would lie to you or she would just change the topic. There’s so many times where she’s wished for a new life or a new beginning but she’s learned to accept the life she has whether she wants to or not. Coming from a home were being emotional or sensitive was a sign of weakness she had no other alternative but to hide her feelings and fake a smile. This girl was made fun of and teased for any little thing and she just couldn’t understand why and how people could be so mean, she was just a girl. Going through something like this, she was forced to grow up faster than she would have liked so that she could deal with the stress and not break in the process. Being at home wasn’t any better; the fact that her parents expect so much out of her and not her brothers added on so much stress. She was also the only girl in her family, everyday she would have to hear her dad speak his machista mind and at the same time hear him say repeatedly that I better not get pregnant. Everything she heard in school or at home was just so pessimistic. There came a point in her life where she couldn’t handle it anymore so she shut herself off from the world, keeping only to herself. She would walk around with her head held high and a smile on her face but it was all just an act. In reality she was depressed and so hurt.

There came a point where she got tired of feeling terrible all the time. She saw how happy other people could be and she desired to be like them. So she took it upon herself to be a happier person. She decided to no longer care about what other people thought or said about her. She was going to be herself and people were just going to have to deal with it. She was going to prove those who thought negatively about her wrong, including her dad. She was just so tired and fed up with having to deal with people’s remarks. From now on she was determined to always be happy. After all, all she’s ever wanted is to be happy.

Life in My Heels

“Feminism to me is about giving women and men the chance to live the life they choose, free of sexism, sex exploitation and oppression of every kind.” – Christina Libby

Being a female can have its positive and negative moments but things can be a bit different when you’re female and Mexican, like me. There are, of course, global stereotypes placed on both women and men on what they should or shouldn’t do and how they should act and behave. Those stereotypes do also exist for Mexican women but coming from a country where machismo overrules, those stereotypes can become a bit harsh. The majority of men, especially the older men, were brought up believing that women are put on this earth to have kids, clean the house, cook, wash clothes and wait on them hand and foot. The men on my dad’s side of the family are the perfect example of machismo. Some of the men in my family have lightened up but there are still a few uncles, cousins and even brothers that are still a bit machista.

However, if they were dropped of somewhere by themselves they would not survive. They don’t even know how to work a microwave or oven let alone a washing machine. I’m just fed up with having to deal with men who say and believe these things. They expect and want so much from us yet we get nothing in return.

All my life I’ve done everything I’ve had to do and you could say that I’ve been angel compared to both my brothers. For the past few years my dad and I have had the “license” fight. My dad’s been saying that I will get my license soon but he’s been saying that for a long time now. Every time I mention the word “license” my dad changes the topic or completely ignores me. He goes as far as telling me everything that’s wrong with the car and the way I drive. He even said that some women shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel so the chances of me getting my license are slim. My dad has always been harder on me than he is with my brothers. When my older brother goes out he never gets an interrogation the way I do. “Who did you go with?” or “Who were you with?” are the two most common questions asked by both parents but mostly my dad. Every time I go out my dad automatically assumes that I’m with a guy and that I’m going to end up pregnant. It angers me so much knowing that unfortunately a lot of Hispanic men think the same way. Thank God for my mom, I have to say that she is the best. She’s raised me to be a strong woman like her. I’ve had a few people accuse me of being to harsh on men, or in other words a feminist but all I do is stand up and believe for what is right.

My Mom

"Ahogadas, escupimos el oscuro. Peleando con nuestra propia sombra el silencio nos sepulta." -Gloria Anzaldua

My mom didn't have it easy growing up. She was raised with five other siblings and a alcoholic abusive dad. All of her life she's grown up seeing the same type of men but never in her life did she think she was going to end up with a machista, but she did. Becuase of what she's seen and experienced my mom has gone out of her way to give me advice. She tells me to stand up for myself and never let any guy boss me around or to even let him think that he's above me. I pay attention and take note of what she says but at the same time it's still pretty hard to take in and believe when machismo is all I've seen.

Forming relationships with guys or at least trying to has been hard for me. Based on what I've seen and other personal issues of mine I want to believe that not every guy is like that but it's hard to get rid of a concept that's been drilled into my head. When I'm first getting to know a guy if I didn't like what they said or if it came of as machista I would just stop talking to them, that's the extreme I went to in order for me not to end up with a machista. But I do have to say that I've been improving and now I am less judgemental and stereotypical with guys.

My mom is the type of woman that doesn't let herself be bossed around by men and she doesn't back down from an argument. I have grown up to want to be exactly like her. Being the only two women in the family we have stuck together, she has even become my best friend. My mom has inspired me to become the woman I am today.

The Beginning

“Not to fall to the devil’s temptation of despair and darkness and these easy thoughts of hate and destruction, but to see beyond these and reach for the stars with the conviction of mind and soul that we, the human species, can only survive… when we have made peace within ourselves…” –Victor Villaseñor

All that I’ve been through and experienced throughout these eighteen years of my life have shaped who I am today and who I will be in the future. I don’t see these events as something negative but as something that I could learn and grow from. I have to admit that this process has been hard and challenging but at the end of it I am who I am. Because of what I’ve dealt with I feel like I’ve become a more independent and strong minded individual. I’ve learned to rely on myself, be more opinionated, but most of all believe in myself. I have come to accept who I am and I’m proud of what I see. I’ve overcome so much but I see it as the end of one chapter and the beginning of what’s to come...

Final Literature Circle Blog

Part 1

Part 5 of "Rain of Gold" starts of with Lupe and her sister Sophia not getting paid what they're supposed to because the men would get mad if they did. Sophia leads a strike that results in them not getting hired anymore or getting rides to work either. At the next payday when they are refused to get paid their full amount they earned again Sophia has had enough and she decides to lead a three day strike. This time a sense of accomplishment is felt by all the workers when they are finally paid what their owed. Lupe, Victoriano and Sophia get tired of watching their parents struggle on the fields so they decide to support them instead and let them rest at home. In part 4 Mark had asked Lupe to marry him but she didn't answer. Once again Mark finds her wanting answer but also comes to tell her the good news that his uncle is looking for a bookkeeper, Lupe's dream job. Dona Margarita says that she has "personal conversations" with the Virgin Mary each morning and that she gives her advice. Juan doesn't know what to think but he plays along thinking it's just her old age getting to her. One day as Juan drove up to Lupe's house he caught her practically destroying her home as she attempted to teach herself how to drive. Juan drove up not only to see Lupe but to teach her how to drive just as he had promised her. Lupe wasn't going to let a man tell her what she can and can't do. She surprised everyone as she drove through the field almost running over her own brother. After a lot of praying, Juan's brother Domingo comes back. He's the exact replica of his father and he brought company, his pregnant girlfriend Nellie. Domingo's hot temper soon leads to him fighting with his own brother only to later be made to apologize by their mother. Juan gets help from his good friend and tailor Harry to buy a diamond ring for Lupe. He ends up buying a $2,000 ring for $400 from a man that he later finds out was Harry's brother. Juan's dream of having his brother ask for Lupe's hand is soon ruined after finding out from his mother that Nellie is married and left her her three children to come here. Dona Margarita instead insists that he have the Priest ask for Lupe's hand. Juan finds out that Domingo has exposed his bootlegging business and ends up having to move to a different location. Juan is surprised to find out that Lupe wants to live alone with him and not with her parent's like she had originally said. Juan finds himself falling more in love with Lupe. The day that the Priest was supposed to ask for Lupe's hand he found him drunk and Juan gets drunk too on the way to Lupe's house. The Priest ends up rambling on for quite awhile before finally asking for Lupe's hand. As Juan drove up to the distillery house he is ambushed by Tom Mix and his racists cops. Domingo is handcuffed inside with a bloody unrecognizable face because he refused to talk, Juan soon receives the same beating once their in jail. Juan calls his lawyer and is soon led out but his brother is given five years in jail in San Quentin. It turns out that Domingo had met this guy in a bar and invited him to the house not knowing that he was an undercover cop. Nellie soon leaves hoping to get her husband to forgive her. Juan is mad beyond words when his own people refuse to let him borrow money but his white friend does. Dona Margarita worries for him after seeing his anger and gives him a lecture. Juan later on goes to confession so that he can give all of himself over to Lupe on their wedding day. Their wedding day ends up becoming the biggest celebration with happiness, forgiveness and acceptance.    

Part 2

1. What is the significance of education to Mexican immigrants?


2. What qualities, conditions or circumstances make Racial justice possible or impossible?


3. When is the meaning of feminism misunderstood? 

 

Critical Thinking

The article I will be discussing it "Kids Smuggle food for cents along war border" from CNN World. Kids as young as eight years old smuggle food across the Pakistan and Afghanistan border and are paid twenty cents or less. The journey between the two borders is long and dangerous. Along the way kids have to watch out for suicide bombers and/or getting beat by the border police. On one side these kids are risking their lifes and doing what they have to do to get their families ahead. They are putting their lifes on the line to put food on the table. Living in the most dangerous place on earth, jobs are at an all time low and their parents are struggling to find a job to support their family. These kids are doing this against their own will, but they do it to help out the family. On another side, I don't think that these kids should be throwing their life away. They instead should be going to school and getting an education so that they can get a good and most importantly safe job that pays well. This however is impossible to most kids becuase their parents can't afford to send them to school. Although UNICEF is making it possible for students to go to school they are threatend by the Taliban for going against Islamic rule. Parents can get a loan to start their own business in exchange for sending their kids to school full time but only three hundred children have been placed in school so far. Kids shouldn't have to live their life in fear or danger just to make twenty cents a day. It's good that their helping their families out but in the long run an education will be worth more.

Rain Of Gold Blog

After finishing reading the book "Rain of Gold" I would like to ask Lupe two questions:

1. What happened to Mark? Did he ever come back?
2. Would you still have married Salvador if you knew beforehand that he was a bootlegger?

Questions #1-7 from "The Men we Carry...

1. Sanders noticed that the men he grew up around all had the same physical characteristics . In paragraph three Sanders describes what they look like. He began by using the words twisted and maimed to describe them and then later went into detail. These men had scarred hands, missing fingers, bad backs, ulcers, bad knees, hard hearing, coughing and drinking. Basically these men worked so hard that they looked much older than they were, they wore down faster.
   
2. 
   
   Sanders characterized the other men, soldiers, as being lazy and kind of invisible. In paragraph four he uses words such as boredom, waiting and no say to describe them. They're kind of just there waiting for the day of war to come. Besides practicing for battle, all they do is wait because theirs nothing else left for them to do. They don't have a say in anything that goes on in the military base.
   
   
3. 
   
   Sanders couldn't imagine becoming one of these "successful" men because he grew up seeing the complete opposite. All he ever knew and saw was hard working labor so meeting these new type of men was not the norm for him. He found it impossible to become a man like that.
   
   
4. 
   
   Sanders father went from working in a farm to a tire factory to an assembly line and then finally to the front office. He was lucky that he got out of the slave labor but his body was quick to give up on him. Most of the young men he knew ended up joining the army, working at smoky plants or building highways. His father was persistent and he climbed up the latter to success. These younger boys didn't even try, it's as if they knew that they were destined for hard labor after all it's all they've ever known.
   
   
5. 
   
   Sanders learned that college men automatically thought that they would be leading a pleasureable life becuase of their family. Although he was baffled at the fact that women could be envious of a man's life he soon understood why they would but that didn't mean that he completely agreed. Sander's thought that women were the ones that had the better life. They didn't have to work or go to war, they were free to do anything they wanted and nothing was ever their fault. He envied their life.
   
   
6. 
   
   Sanders has realized that a lot of pressure has always been put on men. The low-class sees it as back breaking work, having to be tough and the fight to live and have territory. The high class women see it the same way only that it's a more sophisticated point of view. The men they describe are already wealthy but they still have to go through the same work that any other man would have to. 
   
   
7. 
   
   Sanders noticed that he had a lot in common with upper middle class college-educated women. They both wanted to have power and have a say in their future. They want to choose a job that fits them, live a peaceful life and be complete.
   

Summary Self-Evaluation

Writing this summary was pretty difficult for me because I have never written one like this before. Usually when a teacher asks for a summary it's usually just a couple of sentences, not a page to a page and a half. The hardest part was coming up with what to write in my own words and paraphrasing to make it my own. I also usually always have problems when it comes to coming up with a thesis and using transition words between different ideas. I always get stuck in the beginning process but once I know what to write I can easily do it. I was satisfied with getting an A- on the summary but I would've been more satisfied with a solid A. I got the grade I did because I followed the rubric. I had an introductory sentence, paraphrasing, no unnecessary detail or personal opinion which was really hard for me to do. I did what was asked and I got the appropriate grade to show it. I think that my biggest strength for this summary was paraphrasing. Until now I didn't know that I was good at putting other peoples words or ideas into my own words. For the next summary I should probably work on using transitions because I don't really use them, I just write. Instead of struggling with that on my own I could ask for help. Coming up with words to transition from one idea to the other is something that has always been a problem to me. For the next essay I will definitely improve on my lack of transitions and get an even better grade.  

Libby's Blog response

1. Feminist would be a dirty word for her students because they don't know the exact meaning or they've only heard the negative stereotype to the word. In paragraph two, one of the student's she interviewed used the words "hate, blame, radical women and bad" in their definition of a feminist. In paragraph ten the word " man-haters" is used in describing a feminist in a movie.
   
2. 
   
   Their aren't many self-identified feminist becuase they don't want to be associated with the word or they don't feel like they can call themselves feminist. They think that to be a feminist you have to actively participate in the whole feminist movement. Males don't consider themselves to be feminist becuase they aren't female. They feel like they don't belong or that they won't be able to contribute much to the cause.
   
   
3. 
   
   More people should be feminist becuase to be a feminist all you have to do is believe in the same ideas they do. Feminism isn't just for women, it's also for men. The whole purpose of the word femininism is to be able to have a choice, a say, a voice. It's about having equal rights and being able to live the life you want.